Saturday, September 18, 2010

(Skull and) Boneheads

Editor's note -- The Onion is America's Finest News Source besides Gardner's Gazette.

via @TheOnion - Archaeologists Unearth Lousiest Civilization Ever >>> 'What A Bunch Of Losers,' Researchers Say

MANAUS, BRAZIL— Archaeologists working in a remote section of the
Amazon Rainforest announced Tuesday that they have discovered the
ancient remnants of what they claimed may be the lousiest civilization in
human history.

According to Dr. Ronald Farber, a professor from the University of
Minnesota who is leading the excavation, the "half-assed" culture existed
from about 450 B.C. until 220 B.C., when it abruptly disappeared—an event
he said was "honestly no big loss" for our understanding of human culture. ...

"Our best guess is that these boneheads just lost interest in their
completely forgettable culture, wandered off, and accidentally fell into
volcanoes or burned to death in one of their ridiculous fire-dance rituals,"
said research fellow David Reagan, smashing an asymmetrical clay bowl
on a nearby rock. "Or maybe they all went blind staring at one of those
precious solar eclipses they seemed to be so goddamn fond of predicting.
"Really, though, who cares?"

"I think we're probably just going to cover all of this back up," Reagan added. 

Do Not Forget !! 
September 19th  
International Talk Like A Pirate Day !!


  1. The Diggers probably dug up in their garbage dump, guess they had them back then. Just think about a couple thousand years from now when they dig up our stuff. They'll probably say the same thing about us, especially if they read our blogs.

  2. I was sorta thinking about accidentally falling into a volcano and bringing this blog with me.


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